Patience for Success

 Happiness is a choice, why else would they have on a piece of paper that we have the right to the pursuit of happiness. You will always have the right to strive for that, but believe me, it is never something guaranteed. J Cole once said, "Anytime you base your happiness on something unattainable, you will never truly be happy. I used to base my happiness on success, but once I got it, I wanted more. I base my happiness on what I have." I sometimes believe that when we are striving to better ourselves we so badly want success and happiness to be synonymous with each other. Over the years social media has tainted the image of happiness and success. Social media has us comparing our lives to everyone else's highlights. When we see friends post pictures of lavish things or lavish places, we question ourselves to why we don't have the same. That doubt is what leads us to believing we are living up to what we should be, therefore, are not successful.
          As a sports journalist I always saw, or at least wanted my destination to be those big four letters, ESPN. Once I feel I accomplished the impossible and made it, the glitter didn't seem to be the gold. I was so focused on striving for success that I automatically assumed the happiness would follow right behind. I put so much pressure on myself to obtain this goal I had set to make it that I lost sense of the substance of to why I created this goal in the first place. Billy Jean King once said, " Pressure is a privilege."
         Over time, I have learned that success should not be measured by the destination, but simply by the journey. Instead of comparing yourself to someone else's success, compare yourself to your old self. Your happiness and success should stem from the process you create from bettering yourself day by day. The world has an interesting and diabolical way of making it seem like its all crashing down around you, and however, at the same time, can all be fixed with one simple deep breath and exhale

Dear Tim and Melanie...

Think about your best friend, it could be your wife, your husband, your parent, maybe someone you grew up with. The person who knows everything about you, who roots for you. A best friend is one who never hesitates to tell you when your fly is down or to give you some of the best life advice like, "always keep an emergency six pack in your trunk because you never know when there could be a party." 

But on a serious note, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death that I think is always good to remember when going through life. They believed that when their souls reached the gates of heaven the guards would ask them two questions that determined if they would be able to enter or not. The first question would be, "have you found joy in your life?" I think you have found joy in your life with proof that we are here today and you are sitting next to this beautiful woman. The second question the guards would ask would be, "has your life brought joy to others?" I think I am living proof that that answer is clear. I think everyone here is living proof that that is clear. 

Throwback Thursday

Why is “Throwback Thursday” such a popular thing in our society all of a sudden. Why do we feel the need to share things that happen early in our lives with the world? 

Hearing the news about James Avery on the day before Throwback Thursday was un real. It automatically sent my mind back to the 90’s. Remembering all those classic episodes of Fresh Prince, the little life lessons they taught, and the effect it had on my adolescent over sugar saturated brain. It reminded me of how enjoyable the 90’s were as a kid. The 90’s were a simplistic time where your biggest worry as a kid was to be home before the street lights came on. Maybe our generation enjoys Throwback Thursday because it reminds us of how easy times were before. It brings a therapeutic vibe over us and possibly also a false hope that times will one day go back to those that we cherished. Its almost ironic that we use technology to remind us of the simple times. 

It’s saddening to see “characters” who played such an iconic role in your childhood makeup fade away. It sounds crazy now, but I think back then, at such a young age, it was easy to get attached to these fictional characters. Hey, it was the 90’s and thanks to Throwback Thursday we can keep hold of those memories.  

iNCOGNiTO

I think a lot of people are looking at this Incognito situation in a wrong way.  I think when the term "bullying" is attached to a situation there automatically has to be a party that is labeled "strong" and a party that has to be labeled "weak."  Unfortunately there is an image that follows that are constantly attached to these parties. Jonathan Martin currently has been walking around with the victim label tattooed on his forehead for all to see, well deserved or not that is the question. 

            The more I learn about the story its almost becoming harder to single handily blame Richie Incognito for his actions. I think the one major problem I have about this whole situation is with some of the teammates who considered Incognito an "honorary black man. "They believed with that label a pass slip came instructed with some actions he was able to partake in.  The video on TMZ of him calling Mike Pouncey a ni**a and Pouncey appearing perfectly cool with it is a little alarming. For that I think its for people like that to call Martin weak for walking away when you are sitting here letting someone talk to you crazy and not check that dude right then and there. Teammates said they were cool with him using that name towards them. I personally can't tell them how comfortable they can be with their teammates, but when thats clearly not the norm in the outside world, you can see why people are looking at y'all sideways when you come at the media's neck for critiquing you. I feel if you really are cool with him using that word to you and you think he's an "honorary black man" or "blacker" than Jonathan Martin, then bring Incognito to a real black neighborhood with you and see how your boys look at you when he uses that word towards you. Bring Richie out to Oakland, Harlem, Camden, Detroit, and let him talk to you like the "honorary black guy" and see how your boys look at you. 

          Don't get me wrong, I think Jonathan Martin should have stood up for himself and stepped to Richie Incognito for what he was saying. One thing that is annoying to hear are people who are like "if that was me I'd put my hands on him right there, be a man." If that is something you would truly do when you have a problem with someone that shows me that you clearly have never had a REAL JOB before in your life. I think people don't understand that the NFL is a REAL JOB. This isn't college or high school ball where people do this for fun or just to hang with their boys. People go to this with the intention on getting a pay check at the end of the day to provide for their family. You can't just fight whenever you have a problem with someone and not worry about the repercussions that can affect you and your family later down the road. Its unfortunate that both of their actions will now have a negative effect to their future down the road. I think at the end of the day who knows how this situation would have ended if Martin actually told someone about Incognito in the first place. This is just my opinion about this whole situation. 

The Entrapment of Fame

The paradoxial race to fame is one that many wish to travel, but are uncertain if they want to finish. Finishing is sometimes the victory in itself

Dear Dzhokhar, I Can't Hate You

"Dear Dzhokhar,

You don't know me, but you tried to kill my family.

You couldn't have known, but my brother ran bandit in the marathon and trained for months. My sister-in-law was an amazing and supportive wife as she always is and was ready to run the last 5 miles with him. Your bomb was at the finish line that they were trying to cross.

My mother, father and sister were waiting for them at the finish line. You didn't know it, but my mother thinks that she saw you down there. My sister is only three years younger than you, and you set off a bomb in front of her.

You don't know me, but you tried to kill some friends of mine.

One of my best and closest friends was working in the store in front of which you or your brother laid down a bomb. That bomb exploded, and gave her the worst day of her life.

I was a high school teacher, your bomb wounded one of my most promising students with shrapnel.

Dear Dzhokhar, you tried to destroy a community that I left behind for Rome, but from which I draw so much of my strength and identity.

You killed a child who was a part of the community who made me the man I am today. Martin may have grown up to be a BC High boy and his family is well-loved in the community which surrounds that school.

You tried to drive a city which gave me courage in the face of cancer into complete and utter fear. But you tried to do this to a city which knew how to make a 10-year-old unafraid.

Dear Dzhokhar, you may have crossed the threshold of the building in which I lived to compete in an athletic event, but we have never met, and you tried to kill my family, a friend, my students, and destroy my community.

Dear Dzhokhar, you failed. Did you ever think that you would make it out? The US captured bin Laden and Saddam. There was no chance you would escape. This is not the measure of your success, though. Dear Dzhokhar, you failed because Boston was neither bowed nor afraid. You set off a bomb, and the city gave blood for victims. You escaped initial capture and the city opened its doors to strangers. You were at large and making more bombs, and we gathered in prayer at Garvey Park and the cathedral. You went on a rampage, and people stayed home in an orderly fashion and opened their homes to the police during the search. Dear Dzhokhar, you failed, because light cast out the darkness, and the man who knew that his boat just didn't look right wasn't afraid to call it in.

Dear Dzhokhar, for all of this, I can't hate you... Today I thought about the fact that you are only 19 ... you are just a kid. You must have been so afraid. You were a victim like so many are victims. You were brought something you shouldn't have been brought into because you likely didn't and couldn't know any better.

I am glad that you are going to prison, and I hope that you will have many long years there in supermax in Colorado. I hope that no one I love will ever be threatened by you again, but I can't hate you.

I can't hate you because whatever you brought into Boston was enough hate for a good long while, I won't and can't hate any more.

I can't hate you because I remember being 19, I thought many things were a good idea which weren't. I never would have went where you were with that, but I was certainly not an adult at 19.

I can't hate you because, even though you did unspeakable things ... somehow you are still my brother and your death can never be my gain.

I can't hate you, and not just because I am a Catholic, and a Christian, and because in a couple of months I will be a priest, I am a human and I simply can't hate you.

Dear Dzhokhar, I still have hope for you.

The rest of your life will be in prison. I have seen men change their lives there. I hope that you won't be executed, because I know that we can hold you, safely, for the rest of your life.

I can't say what your story might be there but I know that I, as a Christian, and you, as a Muslim, believe God to be merciful... so I can't help but have hope for you...

Dear Dzhokhar, you're a kid. I can't hate you, or fear you. I am glad you are in custody, I am glad you can't hurt anyone else or yourself anymore, but I can't hate you.. and I WON'T fear you.

Dear Dzhokhar, I will pray for you. Next year, when my friend and my brother cross that finish line on Boylston, your brother's cause will have lost for good, but I will pray that you will know, somehow still, the love that my brother, sister-in-law, mother, father, sister, friends, and students all have given me.

Dear Dzhokhar, I will pray for you. When the first pitch is thrown on Patriots day at Fenway, I will pray that somehow you will know joy... the joy that makes us fully human and offers the possibility of real repentance... the joy that Red Sox baseball fills me with every year.

Dear Dzhokhar, I will pray for you next year when the first shot is fired in the annual reenactment of the battle of Lexington in Concord, that you will come to know that PEACE and LOVE are the only ways in which world will ever be changed.

Dear Dzhokhar, I don't and can't hate you. I am glad you are in custody, but you are just a kid, and you are lost. I will love and pray for you, because somehow your sin was turned for good, and my community and the people I love will only be stronger in the end.

Dear Dzhokhar, godspeed."

- Rev. Mr. Michael Rogers. 

A Breath of Life

I read this facebook status the other day and realized it was a MUST SHARE!

"I don't have a blog, but I have a story to share! Read if you're bored, I'll try to keep it brief. Today at work I was going to file a few folders.. Didn't even really notice the man standing at the filing cabinet I needed. I hear him say "hello, how are you?" In a strong accent. I say I'm good how are you, without looking at him, still looking to file my folders. He asks me what my name is, and if I'm new.. I say Andre, what's your name, barely glancing in his direction, focused on my work. I think this is small talk and the conversation is over. So then I hear "where are you from?" So I finally turn and fully face him and I realize he's looking me square in my face, and he's placed his work down on the table next to him. So I answer him and he reaches out to shake my hand and tells me his name and that he's from India. He continues to ask questions and I end up learning about his family here and in India, about his studies and why he's here, some of the differences in lifestyle. He tells me that people back in India are so much happier than here, with much less. He notices that everyone here wants to be rich. He says they live in communities that are so tight-knitted that he has to meet everyone he works with, and know them, and become a friend, and treat them like family. He's not comfortable spending so much time around people and just walking by all day. I learned about their wages for jobs, and other things. He offered me a piece of gum from India. I'm bringing this story up for two reasons. 1 because I want to know why we are so caught up and rushed with everything we do, that we no longer take the time to look up, breathe, and speak to people. I learned about 20 things and tried a piece of weird gum that I never had, within a span of 4 minutes. Leave it up to me and my American ways and I would have never even seen what this mans face looked like. What causes us to be that focused and rushed? Is filing a paper that important that I have to ignore a living breathing human being with knowledge and experiences? The 2nd reason I'm sharing this is because for the rest of that workday I had my head up and was alert, smiling at everybody, engaging myself in little conversation, making work secondary. I took alot from this simple moment, realized something id like to work on changing, and I felt the need to share just in case someone else may feel the same!" - Andre Privott